Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
