the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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