He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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