Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
