Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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