Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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