And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
