just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
We named our party play list daddy issues
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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