my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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