have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
