fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
