google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
