id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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