you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
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