Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
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