Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
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