A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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