He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
