I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
