Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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