I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
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