The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
