That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
