did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
