We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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