Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize