did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
