She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize
