Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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