jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
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