As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Just high enough for therapy.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
