I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
