What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize