moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
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