I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I need help removing her.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
