I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
