nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
