he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
