we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
