so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
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