Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize