i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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