I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Randomize
