Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
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