So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
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