I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
i just google imaged poop.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
