I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Everyone says I win the strip club
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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