I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
