my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
There's even glitter on my cock...
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
