i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
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