I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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