There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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