There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
You're like the curious george of whores
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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