Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
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