The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
