It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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