I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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