do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
