doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
