We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
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